Tame your tongue!
Before you speak...ask yourself...

T-is it true?
H-is it helpful?
I-is it inspiring?
N-is it necessary?
K- is it kind?

The tongue weighing in at approx 30 oz has the power of life and death!  Loose lips sink ships!

Excerpt from an article on the Relevant Magazine site about how toxic selfishness is to self and others. It is an addiction in itself and unhealthy to self-esteem and relationships.

1. Selfishness Makes You Fight More

When we act in selfishness, we often stir up controversy or disagreements in all sorts of areas. You’ve seen this in other people: the type of people who not only stumble across online articles they disagree with but actively look for them. They seem to enjoy spending a great deal of their waking hours angry at something. They don’t just disagree with some things; they want to disagree with almost everything. People generally don’t enjoy being around these types.

Ultimately, a person like this loves being offended because it makes them feel self-righteous and puts the attention on them. It’s a subtle form of selfishness because it makes it more about the person complaining than about the issue itself. Have you been this person?  Have you made it seem like you were participating in the noble task of defending the truth, but were really just burning with selfishness and looking for wood for the fire. But that fire only burned bridges.

2. Selfishness Kills Your Joy

Selfishness often squelches the ability to simply enjoy things because it finds something wrong with everything.

An example of this is the type of person who becomes a perpetual Sherlock Holmes whenever he/she is around others. They have the uncanny ability to find flaws in anything.  You’re watching TV and notice a beautiful or handsome character? They’ll go on a tirade about makeup and eating disorders or how immoral the beautiful/handsome character probably is.

This can be a subtle form of selfishness because it makes a critical person feel in control. It makes them feel above others in a self-proclaimed position of authority because they’ve identified a mistake somewhere.  Are you this person?  Do people slowly start hanging around you less?  Does your love for pointing out problems eventually turn you into a problem?

3. Selfishness Sets Unrealistic Expectations

It’s often pretty obvious when selfishness makes us expect too much of others, but it’s more subtle when it makes us expect too much of ourselves.

A person with too high expectations for him/herself never accepts a compliment, never feels like they’ve succeeded even when they clearly have, and expects nothing but perfection. They might seem humble because they’re hard on themselves, but inside they hold themselves to an insane standard for human achievement.

This can be a subtle form of selfishness because it ignores one’s own natural limitations and assumes one should be able to do anything at any time. While positive thinking is a good thing, the reality is, most of us aren’t able to do whatever we want to do even if we put our minds to it. We all have limitations and should learn to embrace them as part of our humanity.

Sure, some of us are underachieving and aren’t living up to our potential. But many of us are working hard and investing our time and gifts well. It’s entirely possible to fulfill God’s design for your life through doing something the world wouldn’t call incredible. You can completely fulfill your potential even if you don’t become an astronaut or the next president.

Are you the person who expects too much from yourself, and it caused all kinds of strain and damage?   Can yout take a compliment?  Do you feel like you are too good for certain people? Are you seeking to fulfill an unending standard for yourself, and in the process, losing people around you?

4. Selfishness Rejects Getting Better

Most of us have a hard time with criticism, but at the same time, we know somewhere deep down that some criticism is necessary for improvement.

But selfishness rejects any sort of criticism. This is the person who completely flips out when someone criticizes them, for anything. They assume a true friend of theirs is a person who focuses only on their positives and ignores their negatives. So, when someone offers helpful critique with the full intention of helping them, they interpret it as scorn and disrespect.

This is a subtle form of selfishness for obvious reasons.  People who are hyper-sensitive to criticism are quick to defend themselves and rationalize their issues because they feel like they’re not supposed to make mistakes. The irony is, most of us would be better than we are if we willfully allowed people to speak into our lives and help us grow!

Have you been this person and it damaged your life because you wouldn’t let people speak truth to you about problems you had?   Have you lived for years oblivious to your issues, and hurt yourself and others in the process?

But thankfully, God won’t allow you to stay there. Selfishness can ruin your life if you let it take over, but it doesn’t have to.

Read more at http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/4-ways-selfishness-ruins-your-life#FZlwB0F7ZgQoByIu.99

Here are seven things emotionally strong people don’t do:

Here are seven things emotionally strong people don’t do:

1.  They Don’t Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves – Mentally strong people don’t sit around feeling sorry about their circumstances or how others have treated them.  Instead, they take responsibility for their role in life and understand that life isn’t always easy or fair.

2.  They Don’t Shy Away from Change – Mentally strong people don’t try to avoid change.  Instead, they welcome positive change and are willing to be flexible.  They understand that change is inevitable and believe in their abilities to adapt. 

3.  They Don’t Waste Energy on Things They Can’t Control – You won’t hear a mentally strong person complaining over lost luggage or traffic jams. Instead, they focus on what they can control in their lives.  They recognize that sometimes, the only thing they can control is their attitude.

4.  They Don’t Worry About Pleasing Everyone – Mentally strong people recognize that they don’t need to please everyone all the time.  They’re not afraid to say no or speak up when necessary.  They strive to be kind and fair, but can handle other people being upset if they didn’t make them happy.

5.  They Don’t Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over – Mentally strong people accept responsibility for their behavior and learn from their past mistakes.  As a result, they don’t keep repeating those mistakes over and over. Instead, they move on and make better decisions in the future.

6.  They Don’t Resent Other People’s Success – Mentally strong people can appreciate and celebrate other people’s success in life.  They don’t grow jealous or feel cheated when others surpass them.  Instead, they recognize that success comes with hard work, and they are willing to work hard for their own chance at success.

7.  They Don’t Expect Immediate Results – Mentally strong people don’t view failure as a reason to give up.  Instead, they use failure as an opportunity to grow and improve.  They are willing to keep trying until they get it right.  Whether they are working on improving their health or getting a new business off the ground, mentally strong people don’t expect immediate results.  Instead, they apply their skills and time to the best of their ability and understand that real change takes time.

Fisher in the River high chair which is probably as old as his Daddy.

Fisher - Growing so fast!

Sounds like Fisher loves being at the River.  It seems like he has grown so much since I last saw him two weeks ago. Could it be just two weeks?  It feels like months.  He has started sitting up, sleeping better, and loving his baby food that his Mommy concocts for him with interesting combinations.  If I remember correctly, that shirt is a 12-18 months and a really nice fit on this 6 month old sweetie!  Somebody stop the clock!

Love this girl! Beautiful Eloise!

Sink Bath at the River for Fisher

...and showing his catch to Fisher!

Miles, doing what he loves best!

 Fisher gets his first car

New Grandson, 

Malcolm Fisher MacLean born January 27, 2012

Ten Rules for Being Human

by Cherie Carter-Scott

1.	You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it's yours to keep for the entire period.
2.	You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called, "life."
3.	There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial, error, and experimentation. The "failed" experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiments that ultimately "work."
4.	Lessons are repeated until they are learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can go on to the next lesson.
5.	Learning lessons does not end. There's no part of life that doesn't contain its lessons. If you're alive, that means there are still lessons to be learned.
6.	"There" is no better a place than "here." When your "there" has become a "here", you will simply obtain another "there" that will again look better than "here."
7.	Other people are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself.
8.	What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.
9.	Your answers lie within you. The answers to life's questions lie within you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.
10.	You will forget all this.

Miles turns Eleven

Celebrating his birthday at lunch on Sunday at Kanki...a birthday tradition in our family.

Beautiful Eloise

Noodle

Good Stuff

You don’t have to settle, it’s simply a choice you make every day.  If you feel like you’re running in place there’s a good chance you’re tolerating things you shouldn’t be.  It’s time to reclaim your life.

Starting now, stop tolerating…

1. People who bring you down. – Relationships should help you, not hurt you.  Spend time with nice people who are smart, driven and likeminded.
2. A work environment or career field you hate. – Don’t settle on the first or second career field you dabble in.  Keep searching.  Eventually you will find work you love to do.  If you catch yourself working hard and loving every minute of it, don’t stop.  You’re on to something big.  Because hard work ain’t hard when you concentrate on your passions.
3. Your own negativity. – Be aware of your mental self-talk.  We all talk silently to ourselves in our heads, but we aren’t always conscious of what we’re saying or how it’s affecting us.  Start listening to your thoughts.  If you hear negative thoughts, stop and replace them with positive thoughts.
4. Unnecessary miscommunication. – Say what you mean.  Mean what you say.  Speak clearly.  Ask questions.  Clarify things until you understand them.
5. A disorganized living and working space. – Clear the clutter.  Get rid of stuff you don’t use.  Read David Allen’s book Getting Things Donefor some practical organizational guidance.
6. Your own tardiness. – Get up 30 minutes earlier so you don’t have to rush around like a mad man.  That 30 minutes will help you avoid speeding tickets, tardiness and other unnecessary headaches.
7. Pressure to fit in with the crowd. – Oftentimes, the only reason others want you to fit in is that once you do they can ignore you and go about their business.  Don’t conform.  Be you, because that’s the only person you can be.
8. An unhealthy body. – Your health is your life.  Don’t let it go.  Eat right, exercise and get an annual physical check-up.  The 4-Hour Body is an insightful and entertaining read on this topic.
9. Fear of change. – Life is change.  Every day is different.  Every day is a new beginning and a new ending.  Embrace it and make the best of it.
10. All work and no play. – Enjoy yourself and have a little fun while you can.  If you’re smiling, you’re doing something right.
11. People or beauty ads that make you feel inadequate. – Good looks attracts the eyes.  Personality attracts the heart.  Be proud to be you.  You are already beautiful.
12. Not getting enough sleep. – A tired mind is rarely productive.
13. Doing the same exact thing over and over again. – You are the sum of your life experiences.  The more you experience, the more interesting your life story gets.
14. Personal greed. – Don’t let greed and deceit get the best of you.  Greed will bury even the lucky eventually.
15. A mounting pile of debt. – Always live well below your means.  Don’t buy stuff you don’t need.  Always sleep on big purchases.  Create a budget and savings plan and stick to them.  Read I Will Teach You To Be Rich.
16. Dishonesty. – Living a life of honesty creates peace of mind, and peace of mind is priceless.  Period.  Don’t be dishonest and don’t put up with people who are.
17. Infidelity. – Intimate relationships are a sacred bond – a circle of trust.  If both parties aren’t 100% onboard the relationship isn’t worth fighting for.
18. An unsafe home. – If you don’t feel safe at home you’ll never feel safe anywhere.  Build a loving household in a safe area that you are proud to call ‘home.’
19. Being unprepared. – Life is unpredictable.  And there’s a big difference between being scared and being prepared.  Always be prepared.
20. Inaction. – Either you’re going to take action and seize new opportunities or someone else will.  You can’t change anything or make any sort of progress by sitting back and thinking about it.

And remember, you only live once, but if you live it right once is enough.

Eloise's 7th Birthday

Lots of squealing girls, swimming, balloon popping and eating sweets.

Miles and Woody

Kevin

Woody and Kevin

Miles, Andrew, Kari, Eloise

Miles and Eloise

Miles

Eloise

2010-July-Trip to Canada

These are my babies all grown up.  I really like this picture because it has been forever and a day since there has been one taken of us all together.  I have to say I am very proud of them.  Can't believe they grew up so fast!

Miles caught a big Pike!

Baby Birds in the Rose Bush

I've been watching to see when these babies were going to hatch.  When I first spotted them, their mommy was with them and whished out of the nest only to come back zooming by my ear to give me warning to get away.  Still I braved getting pecked long enough to nab a picture of these little beauties.

Miles's Bell Pepper Plant

While at Lowes buying herbs for a garden this Spring, I let Miles and Eloise pick out pepper plants which they planted on their own in my yard.  I have been surprised by the amazing yield.  We've cooked with the bell peppers and made several bottles of hot pepper sauce with the hot peppers which we will enjoy with 'beans and greens' this winter.  This one belonged to Miles and Eloise's plant is in the picture below.

Eloise's Pepper Plant

2010-July-Trip to Canada

2010-July-Trip to Canada

Miles & Jack

Eloise, Kevin, Woody, Miles

Eloise's first grade talent show

Noodle

Shakori - Spring 2010

April-2010

Miles's 9th Birthday

The first time we took Miles to eat at Kanki, he was turning three.  The staff brought him out a cake and balloons and sang Happy Birthday in Japanese to him.  He promptly climbed under the table and stayed there until they all left.  This is at Kanki on his ninth birthday.  He doesn't climb under the table anymore and acts like he doesn't like hearing about when he did.

Dec-April-2010

Spiky

We've been visiting Kanki since Miles was a little guy for family birthdays.  This is one of those Japanese places where the cook puts on a show.  It used to be very entertaining but now is just dejavu.  Miles started calling the blowfish in the tank "Spiky Fish" a long time ago.  The restaurant has probably been through a few blowfish since our early visits but we still visit with Spiky (be it I, II, or III)  and spend way too long watching him go in circles around the tank.

Dec-April-2010

Dec-April-2010